Marvel Adventures: Free Comic Book Day 2008

Kiddo picked this one out for me to read from the stack of random unread comics. It's another 2008 FCBD book, this time from Marvel.

Title: Marvel Adventures: Free Comic Book Day 2008
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Date: May, 2008
Writer: Jeff Parker, Paul Tobin
Penciler: Alvin Lee
Inker: Terry Pallot
Colorist:Wilfredo Quintana
Letterer: Nate Piekos
Editor: Nathan Cosby, Mark Paniccia

This is from Marvel's all-ages line, and features Spider-Man, Iron Man, Hulk, and Ant-Man battling the Mandarin in Peru. The fight eventually ends up in Machu Pichu (of course!), and there is an encounter with a sentient giant ant. Oddly, Ant-Man has been somewhat awkwardly dropped from the story at this point, possibly because he might have been just a bit too useful in giant-ant-based scenarios.

Mandarin shows up, and in one of the most unexpected moments I've experienced in a comic in a while, Spider-Man demands that everyone "take the fight outside" so as not to damage the precious archaeological site... And Mandarin is totally cool with that idea! Ha! I love it!

When the battle does resume, it's actually a pretty good fight. Mandarin is set up as a very even match, even against three Avengers, and the battle is fun with a good logical flow.

All of the giant ant stuff felt silly, and there were random ancient magical artifacts that were only marginally important to the story, but this was still an entertaining book.

Rating: 6.5/10

Orchid #1

Bought this one when it came out in 2011. Finally got around to reading it. 

Title: Orchid
Issue: 1
Date: October, 2011
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Writer:Tom Morello
Artist: Scott Hepburn
Colorist: Dan Jackson
Letterer: Nate Piekos of Blambot
Cover: Massimo Carnevale
Editor: Jim Gibbons, Patrick Thorpe, Sierra Hahn, Dave Land


I went into this with high hopes for Tom Morello as a comic book writer. While I haven't listened to too much Rage Against the Machine, or The Nightwatchman, I have enjoyed Morello's collaborations with Bruce Springsteen, and he did have that time when he awesomely told off Paul Ryan in the pages of Rolling Stone. The guy is essentially a member of the E Street Band at this point, and so I feel some obligation as a huge Springsteen fan to give him props.

So I really wanted to like this. It had an awesome cover, by the way (actually, this is apparently the variant cover; regardless it's pretty awesome).

Unfortunately, that was about where my liking of it ended.

The story is set in a postapocalyptic world featuring a mostly submerged Earth (not explained, although there were vague references that the dumping of chemicals in the oceans was somehow to blame) inhabited my mutated animals right out of, well, right out of a postapocalyptic world. A postapocalyptic world writting in 1983 or so, that is. We're talking serious Gamma World style creatures.

So the setting is a bit goofy, although the plot, involving the last survivor of a failed rebellion on the run, seems to take itself completely seriously. The silly setting was not the main issue.

The main issue was misogyny, which is pretty much the unintentional main theme of the story here. Look, I get it. The setting is supposed to be horribly dystopian. The villains are supposed to be horrible human beings and we will cheer for them getting their comeuppance in a future issue. At least the readers who stick around long enough will. I will not be one of them.

Women forced into prostitution with the word "property" tattooed onto them was just too distasteful for me to want to continue reading this. That sentence was going to start with "Sorry, but". I'm not actually sorry. This story was loaded with violence against women, both implied and explicit, and it was woven into the society of the setting. It was done excessively, and unnecessarily for the purposes of the story Morello was trying to tell. That is not a story I want to read and it's not a series I want to support. No apologies.

I had a hard time finding any reason to care about the characters, even as horrible things happened to them.

Dystopia is a tough sell for me. I am not a fan of harsh and dark settings, but when I think of an example of a Dystopian story that I like, I realize that before The Hunger Games had fully revealed how truly terrible its setting and society were, the story had given reason to care about Katniss and several of the supporting characters.

All that Orchid gave me in the first issue was reasons to stop reading.

Rating: 2/10

Buffy/The Guild: Free Comic Book Day 2012

Title: Buffy/The Guild: Free Comic Book Day 2012
Issue: 1
Date: 2012
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Writer:Felicia Day, Andrew Chambliss
Artist:Jonathan Case, Georges Jeanty, Dexter Vines, Michelle Madsen
Letterer: Nate Piekos of Blambot, Richard Starkings, Comicraft's Jimmy Betancourt
Cover: Adam Rex, Georges Jeanty, Michelle Madsen
Editor:Brendan Wright, Scott Allie, Freddye Lins, Sierra Hahn

Flip book.

First part is "The Guild", which is basically a nerdy sitcom about a group of MMORPG players. In this installment, the members engage in a fight to the death (in-game) to decide who will get to choose the location of their next (out-of-game) meetup.

The result is a trip to the beach and the result is, well it's supposed to be funny, but it's just kinda there. The problem is that this story needs to be witty and geeky, and it ends up being a rather generic comedy bit that could have been done with any set of sitcom characters in the same situation. They go to the beach. Funny things happen. Allegedly funny, anyway. I know a lot of people love the web series version of The Guild, and it may be great, but this was not a very effective introduction.

Flip the book over and there is Buffy in an adventure that rips off... Oh, sorry, parodies... Alien. Buffy is on a space ship with a creature that bears a lot of resemblance to the monster from the Alien films. Buffy gets to do her best Ripley imitation in between occasional moments of silliness. The serious scenes were pretty highly derivative, but were still effective. The silly moments (the friendly insectoid aliens eating all of Buffy's stakes, and so on) were less effective.

These are two pretty strong properties, and I feel like they both could have been done better for this book.

Rating: 4.5/10

Baltimore / Criminal Macabre

Missed yesterday's review due to technical difficulties with our internet connection. Fortunately, we seem to have solved the problem (by changing providers; bye-bye Verizon!). Here's another selection from Free Comic Book Day 2011.

Title: Avatar: Baltimore / Criminal Macabre
Date: May, 2011
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Writer: Steve Niles, Mike Mignola, Christopher Golden
Artist: Christopher Mitten, Ben Stenbeck
Letterer: Nate Piekos of Blambot, Clem Robins
Colorist: Michelle Madsen, Dave Stewart
Editor: Scott Allie
Cover: Christopher Mitten, Michelle Madsen, Mike Mignola, Dave Stewart

Flip book. First up is Baltimore, a well-executed but somewhat generic alternate history monster-hunter story by Mike Mignola. It's set in 1916 in Germany, where war has given way to a plague of monsters that threatens the land. Two boys observe the arrival in their town of a stranger, a mysterious monster-slayer who just might be exactly what the citizens need to deal with the local vampires. And giant spiders. Decent introduction didn't deliver much in the way of surprises but featured good storytelling from start to finish.

Flip over the book and you get the supernatural noir comedy Criminal Macabre. The plot for this one-shot story involving Frankenstein's monster was resolved a bit too quickly ( a function of the format of this FCBD freebie to some extent), but the dialogue and narration were very entertaining.

Neither book showed much depth, but they were both fun.

Rating: 7/10