Avengers Vs. X-men #1

Title: Avengers Vs. X-Men
Date: June, 2012
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis, Jason Aaron, Ed Brubaker, Jonathan Hickman, Matt Fraction
Penciler: John Romita Jr.
Inker: Scott Hanna
Colorist: Laura Martin
Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos
Cover: Jim Cheung, Justin Ponsor
Editor: Nick Lowe, John Denning, Lauren Sankovitch, Tom Brevoort

So, this is the "I'm With The X-Men!" variant, not particularly because I'm with the X-Men, but because the "I'm With The Avengers!" variant was sold out at my local comic shop.

It too how many writers to come up with this nonsense?

The Phoenix force is headed for Earth, and Hope has already started manifesting some Phoenix SFX.

So of course the thing to do is for Captain American to show up on X-Island (or whatever they're calling it) and demand that Hope be put into protective custody. Which would leave the X-Men hopeless. Sorry. I'll stop now.

Anyway, while Cap is being an idiot, Cyclops has turned full-on villain, to the point that Magneto and Emma Frost are even impressed.

Talking soon turns to fighting, Scott blasts Cap, and Cap orders the SHIELD Helicarrier to lower the cloaking device and arm the photon torpedoes. Oh, and to assemble the Avengers while they're at it.

None of which is actually going to help with that whole Phoenix-force-heading-for-Earth thing. But that's okay. There are five writers working on this. One of them must be handling that.

With the X-Men? With the Avengers? I think I'm going to be standing with those who demand that their comics actually make sense.

Rating: 4/10

Oh, and before I go, since when is Namor an X-Man? Never mind. Don't answer that.

X-Men Vs. Avengers Program Guide

This is a freebie that I picked up with this week's new comics.

Title: X-Men Vs. Avengers Program Guide
Date: 2012
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Writer: Jason Aaron, Brian Michael Bendis, Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, Jonathan Hickman
Artist: John Romita Jr., Scott Hanna, Frank Cho
Letterer: VC's Chris Eliopaulas
Cover: Jason Keith
Editor: Alex Alonso

Preview freebie for the upcoming X-Men vs. Avengers mega-crossover.

There are two actual story segments in here, along with a lot of filler.

First up, Cyclops takes Hope to task for, well, for acting like a super-hero, basically. Scott is being the overprotective father-figure, and he's not exactly thrilled with Hope jetpacking into the city to do the masked vigilante thing (well, technically she's doing it without a mask). What Hope really wants is to know the whole truth about the Phoenix, which is apparently going to be at the core of the upcoming schmozz. It's actually a pretty reasonable request. Scott clams up. Jerk. But we knew that about Scott, didn't we?

Scott ends the scene by admitting it could have gone better. Yeah, that's the problem when your idiotic insistence on not telling the truth to your kid becomes a useful plot device.

Choose your side, huh? Definitely rooting for the Avengers after that nonsense.

Second segment is the announcement that the Phoenix is heading for Earth. The Avengers are going to attack it in space, but they are so convinced that that plan is hopeless that I was left wondering why they would even bother. Meanwhile, Cap decided to go chat with the X-Men. First stop is the current version of Xavier's School, run by Wolverine. Cap wants to know if he can "count on" Logan. Logan replies with the silent sulking of deep conflict. Then it's off to visit the regular X-Men team. For those keeping score, that's Cyclops, Hope, Magneto, Namor (really?!?), Colossus, and Emma Frost. And now Scott has moved away from the moron role he had in the first scene and is dropping hints of a full-on heel turn. Magneto is amused. Cap shows up on the scene, but we cut before anything of consequence happens.

Extras included a few sketches by John Romita Jr. of upcoming action. I didn't find any of them to be all that intriguing, although Cage landing a right hook on Namor in the water was a pretty gorgeous piece of art.

There is also an extended roster of the various people involved, each with a summary of powers, and a "role" presented somewhat in the style of MMORPG roles ("Leader", "Tank", "Striker", etc). Some of these designations get a bit goofy. I particularly liked the fact that Logan's role is listed as "The Best There Is".

Rest of the book is ads, essentially. Well, really, the whole book is an ad, of course, but the rest of the book is more obviously ads.

I'd never seen the character Hope, and this teaser succeeded in getting me interested in her as a character. I also liked the portrayals of Wolverine and Cap, but I still didn't feel there was enough here to hook me into wanting to read a massive crossover. The Dark Phoenix Saga has already suffered from too many sequels, and this did nothing to justify yet another one.

Rating: 4.5/10

Suicide Squad #1

Still making my way through the New 52's issue #1's.

Title: Suicide Squad
Issue: 1
Date: November 2011
Publisher: DC Comics
Writer: Adam Glass
Artist: Frederico Dallocchio, Ransom Getty, Scott Hanna
Colorist: Val Staples
Letterer: Jared K. Fletcher
Editor: Sean Mackiewicz, Pat McCallum

I don't have a gripe with Harley Quinn's new costume. I mean, it does make her look more like a prostitute than a superheroine, but it isn't any worse than half the female characters in mainstream comics. Bleach the outfit and you've basically got Emma Frost.

But I do think the costume change is a pretty idiotic decision by the powers-that-be at DC comics. The classic Harley Quinn costume is incredibly popular with cosplayers (take a look around any major convention and you'll usually see several Harley Quinns), and it seems like a waste to not support that popularity.

What I DO object to is the new look for Amanda Waller. "The Wall" was one of the best female characters in comics, someone who was tough enough to face down the Batman without any powers of her own. The fact that she was middle-aged and overweight was a refreshing change from pretty much every other female character in the DCU. Well, the new version of Amanda only appears on one panel in this issue, but she's got the exact same body type as well, I would assume it's the same body type that the marketing department feels in necessary to keep the 14-to18-male demographic reading.

Younger Superman with an attitude? I can live with that. Emphasis on the warrior side of Wonder Woman? Okay. Barbara Gordon back as Batgirl? Controversial, but I'm at least willing to give it a try. Catwoman/Batman sex scene? Well, hopefully not in every issue, but at least it fits the vibe of a Catwoman book. And as I said, I can even overlook the stupidity of the new Harley Quinn costume. But mess with The Wall? You just lost a reader. This will be my last review of the new Suicide Squad.

But as it turns out, I don't think I'm going to be missing much. This entire issue was an extended torture sequence involving the captured members of the Squad. Actually, it could be argued that it's the readers who are being tortured, especially since the "surprise" twist at the end of the issue can be seen from a mile away.

Anyway, there is a little bit of background on some of the characters about how they were captured (Harley got taken down by Black Canary; well actually Harley just kinda surrendered to Canary). The other characters who get the spotlight are Deadshot and El Diablo (a Latino fire-elementalist guy, not the DC hero from the late 80s of the same name). Sadly we didn't get to see how King Shark got arrested and tried. That at least might have been some good comic relief ("Candygram!").

And that's it. Torture. (Not) Surprise plot twist. Amanda Waller is skinny. The end.

If this book was a member of the team, I'd be hoping they'd detonate the bomb implant right about now.

Rating: 3/10