Teen Titans #27

Joe McGlone, artist for the webcomic Entripor, recently gave me a couple of issues of Teen Titans to review. Well, as it says on the cover of the first of these (Issue #27): Come on... You KNOW you want it!

Title: Teen Titans
Date: October, 2005
Publisher: DC Comics
Writer: Gail Simone
Artist: Rob Liefeld
Colorist: Matt Yackey
Letterer: Comicraft
Editor: Jeanine Schaefer, Joan Hilty

So, all of the creative team here are listed as "guests". This is the first of a self-contained two-part arc, but other than that I have no idea how or if this fits into the grand continuity scheme of things. I also don't know all that much about the Teen Titans. They're not something I read all that much of. This looks like a pretty classic version of the team, though: Robin (Tim Drake), Cyborg, Wonder Girl (Cassie), Raven, Kid Flash (not on the cover for some reason), Beast Boy (also not on the cover) and um... Hawk and Dove (on the cover!)? Except that they're both women. Okay, whatever.

Some super-powered jobbers have hostages on the roof of a building, and we're off and running with a fight scene that starts out as a good old fashioned WCW jobber squash, then gives us a brief hope spot for the heels (yes, I do realize that it's normally the babyfaces that get the hope spot, but that's really what it looked like) before the tables get turned and the Titans go back to squashing the heels. There's also a brief cutaway to the Lords of Chaos and some villain.

Interesting detail: Robin takes a jumping kick from the supposedly super-strong Cross Christina (no, really, that's her name; she slightly resembles Domino from Marvel except that she wears even less). Robin then hits back with pretty much the exact same kick for the KO. Boy. Girl. Same kick. Girl is the one with the super strength. Girl hits first. Boy gets back up. Girl is knocked out. Sexism? Or just sloppy fight choreography? These days at DC it can be so hard to tell.

Best line of the comic: "Cyborg's hand, smelling slightly of liquid polymer and molybdenum." Really? Robin can smell the distinctive odor of molybdenum? I want THAT power! I wonder if it smells better or worse than tungsten. Or yttrium.

So, as it turns out, it's Father's Day, so it's back to HQ for some parent-themed character development and bowling. Look, I may not be taking this scene seriously, but they're the ones who are bowling.

Oops! We interrupt this comic for a seven-page Bionicle comic. Here's the first line of dialogue:

"The time is drawing near. Almost all of my threads have been spun. And I wait only for my prey to rush headlong into the trap. Always remember this, Little Hordeling... Though I am not a Visorak, I too can weave a web."

The remaining six pages are pretty much just like that line. The artwork is pretty difficult to figure out, and the characters are all generic-looking lego robots. But, apparently, the thrilling conclusion of this can be found in the October issue of Sports Illustrated For Kids. This is getting more surreal by the moment.

Meanwhile, back in the DCU, some heavily-armed cops are transporting the previously-captured villains. Excessive violence follows. Some off screen and some on. The actual villain (Kestrel) makes his presence known. We rush right into fight-mode and end on a cliffhanger.

Kestrel is pretty much everything that's wrong with like 90% of DC villains these days. All sadism and viciousness with no actual personality or any kind of complexity. The Titans are more interesting, and I did really like the little glimpse we got of this version of Hawk & Dove.

The story felt rushed and choppy. Liefeld's art was decent. A bit exaggerated, but that's what you expect from him. Simone's writing managed to ratchet the intensity up to 11 by the end, but the path getting there could have been a lot better.

Rating: 4.5/10